Come on in, sit down a spell.
Hail and Welcome! I am glad you are here. May you enjoy a cup of tea as you browse my humble offerings, or perhaps if tea is not the brew you prefer then you might enjoy a rusty bucket of haunted bog water? Far be it for me to contain the wild howlings of your feral being. You are magnificent. An omen. A threat. The world trembles at your approach. Here’s a nice mossy rock for you to sit on while you scroll.